If you describe yourself as driven, high-achieving and ambitious, you've probably drunk the Kool-Aid—and you're dealing with a hangover that never seems to go away. After four decades of chasing "more, faster, better," I discovered the hard way that this path doesn't lead to success. It leads to burnout. This is what I learned about the counterintuitive damage of endless ambition, and how "enough" is actually a decision—not a feeling.

Shirin Yadegar from LA Mom Magazine and I discuss how to easily transform your daily life while being intentional and getting your fill of life. In this short but powerful interview, you'll learn what a life coach is, why athletics and entertainment have steered the path of coaches, and how to navigate sticky transitions like career, marriage, and purpose.

It was a privilege to discuss how to improve the quality of your life by prioritizing activities through the lens of "Life Buckets." Life Buckets are areas that we make deposits in either consciously or unconsciously that determine how we spend our time. By deciding what your 3-5 non-negotiable Life Buckets are, we're able to say "YES" to the things that matter.

Conviction is the ability to be so staunch about an idea that it causes you to reject anything that is not that idea. Most of us are deathly afraid to have conviction. We fear being called radical or ignorant. We don't want to lose followers or offend. But people with solid convictions make a difference in the world. To have conviction is to decide who you are, what you're doing, and where you're going—and keep that stake in the ground at all costs.

What if becoming more knowledgeable doesn't lead to fulfillment and success? Knowledge and wisdom are different—knowledge is gained by consuming information, wisdom through testing that information through action. Information does not naturally lead to transformation. True, life-changing transformation is an internal shift, and it's always driving with wisdom, not knowledge.

I absolutely love my work and I'm more energized after 8-9 hours of coaching sessions. But burnout is more often the result of an emotional challenge rather than a physical one. Two main culprits present most often: the belief that our work is not meaningful, or that we are not appreciated. Most relationships end because of resentment rather than all the other reasons we convince ourselves of. And resentment starts with expectations.

Last week's blog elicited a lot of responses and questions about finding your top life values. To understand our Real rather than Show Values, we must look at our actions—the day-to-day indicators of what matters most to us. My top two values are Freedom and Faith. For most of my life, I held a very common definition of "freedom"—no rules, do what I want, keep my options open. But that way of thinking was getting in the way of creating the life I actually wanted. A life of purpose, meaning, and direction.

For so many of us, the first emotion reading about Ruth Bader Ginsburg's accomplishments is jealousy and envy. Without awareness, we shift to wanting to "do more" or surrendering to feeling "not good enough." An epidemic of women feel they can never do enough—while working, managing households, raising children, and caring for aging parents. What are fulfilled women doing differently?

A great Coach isn't smarter, more knowledgeable, or necessarily even more experienced than her greatest client. She's in charge of the coaching process, not in control of the outcome. This is the distinction that is life—changing if understood and practiced regularly—the difference between being in control and being in charge. So many of us live with constant stress and anxiety because we are trying to control every element of our days.

At least once a week, I'm approached by someone eager to create a career as a Professional Coach. Before you invest time and money in certification programs, here are twelve hard truths about what it really takes to build a thriving coaching practice—and the non-negotiable qualities you'll need to succeed.

We're told there's a loneliness epidemic, worsened by social distancing. But most of us don't understand the difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness is sadness from having no company—solitude is the state of being alone. The subtle yet powerful difference? We feel loneliness happens to us, but solitude is something we control. Those who cultivated solitude before COVID were far more comfortable in their own company when faced with isolation.

Last week's "Shit I Don't Have Time For" list touched more hearts than I expected. But there's a reason this list is so powerful: it's not new information, it's the deepest knowing in your soul that's been patiently waiting for authentic self-acceptance. Once you've gathered the courage to declare it, you won't forget it. Part two of this exercise—creating your list of "Things Worth Doing"—is where the real magic happens.

"What should I do?" is the phrase Professional Coaches hear most often. High achievers believe they should solve all their challenges by themselves and solve problems for everyone around them too. But this belief is unproductive and even damaging. We cannot see the whole system when we are inside of it. A Professional Coach doesn't offer solutions—she asks powerful questions that illuminate the underlying and often hidden beliefs you're carrying around.

If you regularly beat yourself up because you continue to do or say things you know are not good for you—just stop! You're actually being completely normal. Nothing is wrong, broken, or self-sabotaging about you. If you heard "To know better is to do better" and decided something is wrong with you because you know better but aren't doing better, keep reading. I'll share why knowing and doing are not related.

Many of us are energized to set new goals during this time of year, but staying invested in them is another story. I don't love the middle. Working with more folks than I ever imagined, I can report I'm far from the only person with this problem. One primary mind shift changed everything: insight—not information—is the non-negotiable starting point for taking new actions. Once we understand our why, remembering every day is our only commitment.

Perk up your ears and notice how often you hear yourself say "I'm so stupid." Most of us do it without consciousness. But there's a Self inside us that deserves recognition—one that wants a deep and meaningful conversation with us, like we do with a life partner. When we call the Self "stupid," we steal its ability to grow and learn. "Stupid" is not a real thing—it's an excuse to not be conscious and not do the work.

How often have you heard, "Life is short"? Here's the thing. If we don't meet an untimely death, if we are fortunate enough to be given a life past our 80's, then life is actually pretty long. Playing the long game is smart, but it is also the only game we should be playing. Life is a game meant to be a long one. And like any other game, a good life has rules that support our ability to play well.

I'm 55—a declaration that in and of itself feels like a radical act. Most of us have been raised to base our lives on the benchmarks of success society dictates. Underlying most of the rules is the belief that time is running out—especially for women. But here's my greatest weapon against this harmful, completely unhelpful belief: Instead of making a to-do list of all the things you're running out of time with, make a list of all the shit you don't have time for anymore.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. But what I've learned is closer to the truth: mothers are made, not born. Motherhood was an intellectual concept until it gradually became an experience, then an obsession. Each child made a new mother of me over time, not instantly. Mothers are the ground upon which children stand. They hold space for multitudes. They are made from their children's gaze, smile, triumphs, and failures. Mothers are made—over and over again.

Recently, I wrote a blog about tradeoffs. I expected it to be a sleeper blog—one I found deeply important but not likely to generate much excitement. To my surprise, it struck a nerve with many readers and listeners. The most common response? People wanted to know if I could share more ways to become a true “Master of Tradeoffs.”