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Linda has everything she once dreamed of—a beautiful home, financial freedom, and a loving family. She's deeply grateful for all of it.

And yet, in quiet moments, a voice whispers: "I want more."

Immediately, another voice responds: "You should be grateful for what you have. Who do you think you are, wanting more?"

Does this sound familiar?

Linda (name changed) worked hard through her twenties, thirties, and forties to build this life. She acknowledges the blessings she's received. She's genuinely grateful.

But she wants more. A deeper marriage. To turn her hobby into a business. To speak her mind without fear. To build a closer connection with her adult children. To stop comparing herself to others and, well, to take up more space in the world.

And every time she admits this, she feels conflicted and even a bit ashamed.

Gratitude is one of the most powerful practices for personal transformation. So how do we turn it into a weapon? Easily. By using it to judge ourselves. We do this when we equate wanting more with being ungrateful for all the blessings we already have.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Three reasons:

1. We think it's ungrateful or arrogant.

We've been taught that wanting more means we're not satisfied with our blessings. That humility means staying small.

2. We're afraid of being cut down.

In Australia, they call it Tall Poppy Syndrome—the belief that people who rise above must be cut down to size. We're so afraid of being cut down by others that we cut ourselves down first.

3. We believe our capacity is limited.

The voice in our head says, "If you take on more, you'll lose what you already have. You'll become a bad mother, a bad wife. Why can't you just be satisfied?"

This belief is a lie. And it's costing you.

It keeps you from speaking up. From starting that business. From asking for the relationship you actually want. From becoming the fullest version of yourself.

Gratitude was never meant to keep you small. It was meant to fuel your growth.

This Thursday, many of us will celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends. It's my favorite secular holiday—because practicing gratitude in real life, not just thinking about it, has transformed my life in ways I could never have imagined.

Nearly 30 years ago, I watched Oprah read from her gratitude journal and was inspired to start my own. I've kept one ever since. Sometimes I’ve written in it every day, and sometimes I’ve gone months without writing. But always, especially through the difficult times, just one look at my journal reminded me that there was always something to be thankful for.

Over the years, my practice has evolved. I'm still grateful for what I have—deeply so. But I've added something that changed everything.

I'm now, just as often, also grateful for what's possible.

When I start working with a new client, I write in my gratitude journal about their transformation as if it's already happened. I'm grateful for the business they've created, the relationship they've healed, and the courage they've found.

I write in the past tense: "I'm so grateful that Sarah launched her business and it's thriving." Not "I hope Sarah will launch..." but "I'm grateful she did."

This anchors me in the belief that what we desire deeply enough can be achieved with support.

If someone read my journal after I die, they'd think I was a bit crazy—being grateful for things that may not have happened yet.

That's okay. There are worse things than being thought a little crazy.

This Thanksgiving, I invite you to try something new.

Be grateful for what you have. Truly, deeply grateful.

And then—without shame, without apology—be grateful for what you want.

Write it down as if it's already happened. "I'm so grateful I finally started that business." "I'm grateful for the depth and connection in my marriage." "I'm grateful I found the courage to speak my truth."

Wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful.

It makes you human. And it makes you brave.

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