FOMO is good for you!

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Recently, I wrote a blog about tradeoffs.

I expected it to be a sleeper blog—one of those pieces I consider deeply important, but not likely to generate much excitement in my community. For me, sleeper blogs are the ones that insist on being written and shared, no matter how many times I try to ignore the call.

This one—about becoming adept and at ease with the crucial practice of making tradeoffs—was precisely that kind of blog.

But to my surprise, it struck a nerve with many readers and listeners (I also share each blog weekly on my podcast). The most common response? People wanted to know if I could share more ways to become a true “Master of Tradeoffs.”

Today, I want to share three powerful mindset shifts that have helped me—and many of my clients—genuinely and over time, comfortably embrace trade-offs.

1. I remind myself that whatever choice I make, I’ll undoubtedly wonder how I would have felt had I made the alternate choice.

If I stayed home instead of going out with friends, I’d wonder if it would have been more fun to be with them. And if I went out, I’d wonder if I would have gained more by staying home. It sounds like a silly exercise, but isn’t it the truth for most of us?

This makes me realize that when it comes to living a full and engaging life, FOMO is a feature, not a bug. In other words, wondering what the other choice might have added to our lives is just a natural thing we all do.

When doubt and FOMO come, I acknowledge them as normal—and then let them pass. The problem isn’t the wondering; the problem is our tendency to attach to it, treating it as something that must be solved. That’s when overthinking and rumination take over, and peace of mind, self-confidence, and enjoyment depart.

2. I acknowledge that the simple existence of the need to make choices is born from the embarrassment of riches in our lives.

Why do we even need to make a tradeoff? It’s because we have so many things that matter to us. We have places to go to, friends to be with, family to love, work that brings us joy—or at least, financial security.

This is a “First World” problem, my friends. Not having to make tradeoffs means there’s a lack of choice to begin with.

This undesirable state of lack can occur for two reasons:

• Our world doesn’t offer us choices—meaning we lack friends, family, or other blessings that require our attention. 

• We are so overwhelmed by one area of our lives that nothing else seems to matter. For example, someone in financial distress isn’t dealing with FOMO about not going out. They simply can’t go out. There is no choice.

3. This last practice is more esoteric—but for many of us, the most powerful.

I ask myself: what kind of world would I be living in if I weren’t required to make choices? Undoubtedly, it would be far less engaging, thought-provoking, and fascinating.

We were placed on this beautiful earth to exercise our powerful free will. It’s in practicing the choice between one thing and another that we co-create our lives—by design and on purpose.

So the next time you are faced with a trade-off, remind yourself that it’s not a punishment. It’s a privilege afforded to the few and fortunate.