What I Know to Be True
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Every so often, I take stock. I look at what I've learned on this spectacular journey we call life. I’m not talking about the information I've gathered, but the truths I've earned through living. The kind of wisdom that only comes from getting it wrong, feeling the pain, and staying long enough to understand why.
This is not advice. It's not a prescription. It's simply what I know to be true at this point in my life.
For me, the greatest truth remains what David Whyte calls "the unending vulnerability of existence."Pain, illness, loss, and grief are not bugs in the system of life. They are features.
And yet.
Optimism is not optional for the awakened soul. It is the only choice. Pessimism's favorite outcome—"I told you so"—benefits no one and only breeds shame. Choose optimism. Not the naive kind that ignores reality, but the fierce kind that faces difficult circumstances and moves forward anyway.
Which brings me to acceptance. If self-growth and expansion matter to you, then know that radical acceptance is the ground zero of that work. Hand the job to your ego, and you will never begin. The ego wants to resist, to fight, to insist that things should be other than they are. But acceptance is the ego's kryptonite. Start there.
Embrace your power—so that you can be a force for good. But first, get clear about what power actually is. It's not a pose, a posture, or an outfit. It's not loud, forceful, or aggressive. Genuine grounded power doesn't need to announce itself.
When I get the feeling that I need to speed up just to keep up with the pace of my life, I remind myself of the wise words of Coach John Wooden: “Be quick, but don't hurry.” Most of us arrive at our later years no longer able to do all the things that once brought us joy—and only then do we wonder why we were in such a hurry. Slow down now, while the things you love are still available to you.
Listen to the young. Listen wholeheartedly, respectfully, and without condescension. Do this, and they will return the favor when you're older. What I know to be true is that the respect you model is the respect you'll receive.
Understand the difference between what is expensive and what is priceless. Some things can be purchased, solved, or improved with money. Others cannot be had at any price—your health, your relationships, your time. Take care of the priceless things while you still have them. The truth is, we are not wealthy until we have something money can’t buy.
Connection before creation. Always. You cannot create anything of meaning—a piece of art, a relationship, an adventure—without first connecting deeply to the source of your creation. What it takes for each of us to connect with that source is as unique as our fingerprints. For me it is time in nature. Find out what it is for you and let it be the first thing you make time for on your calendar.
However excited you are about your learnings and transformation, stop preaching. Nobody is changed by your declarations. The world is changed through your example. Don't announce it. Be it.
And finally: do and say the thing that's in your heart. Your ego will suffer, yes. But you'll sidestep regret—the most bitter emotion of all. Bonnie Ware, who interviewed thousands of people on their deathbeds, shares the five most common regrets they had. Three out of five concern the principle I share here. They are, “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me, “I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings”, and “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
None of this protects us from the vulnerability Whyte speaks of. Nothing can. But these truths, practiced imperfectly over time, have helped me meet that vulnerability with something other than fear. They've helped me stay open when everything in me wanted to close. They've helped me live—not despite the fragility of it all, but fully inside it.
That's all any of us can do, and it’s enough.
