Who Cares What’s Getting in the Way? Just Tell Me How to Move Forward!

Who Cares What’s Getting in the Way? Just Tell Me How to Move Forward!

Would you continue reading this piece if I told you I wouldn’t tell you how to do something better, faster, and more efficiently?

And with that knowledge in mind, would you hire me as your Life Coach?

Would you trust me to help you achieve a more successful career, better relationships, and more life satisfaction?

You can save time by not reading further if your answer is a resounding no.

If your answer is a hesitant and provisional no, you’ll love what I have to share!

In a culture that has trained us to look for the quick fix, the latest hack, and the clever shortcut, we believe that a better expert, the latest book, or an online course will finally reveal the answers to our long-standing “stuckness”.

How often have we said to ourselves,

When I finish this book, then I’ll start using the information I’ve learned.

When I finish this course, when my kids grow up, when I have more money, then I’ll start that business.

When I hire a Life Coach, I’ll finally get the advice I need to live my desired life.


Speaking for myself, this place of gathering information, passive learning and listening to experts is the mental space I inhabited for a long time. I talked a good talk—because I had explored and learned about everything that had to do with human potential—but my life did not change, at least not in any way I desired. Every day, I just put one foot in front of the other and did the same thing I did yesterday.

When I first hired a Coach, I was so excited! Finally, an expert would tell me how to do “life,” and I would do it now. And if my rebellious side acts up (as it inevitably does), I will remind myself of the substantial fees I have invested in this work. 

Pen and paper in hand, my Coach and I began our work. Not soon after I stopped talking about everything I wanted, he asked, “So Carolyn, tell me, what’s getting in the way?”  

My immediate thought was, “What? Who cares what’s getting in the way? Just tell me how to move forward. Isn’t that why I hired you?”

As an athlete, I was used to coaches giving me a training plan, and I would diligently comply (until I didn’t), but this life coaching thing was asking me actually to slow down and enter a very vulnerable place: the land of The Things That Get In The Way.


So many years and many clients later, I’ve never seen evidence of “How To” working without first talking about and uncovering the things that get in the way. I wish there were a quick and easy way to get unstuck, reach our goals, and create sustainable results. But one thing I know for sure is that acquiring more and more information, education, and certifications does not inevitably lead to transformation.

What paves the road for transformation and sustainable change is removing the thoughts, beliefs, and habits that get in the way before we begin taking new actions.

My clients are highly intelligent, achievement-oriented, kind, and loving. Absolutely nothing is wrong with them. They are perfect the way they are. 

They don’t “need” coaching. They “want” coaching in their lives.

What sets them apart is that they have committed to being open-minded and exploring the things that get in the way of the blessed, optimum life that, deep in their soul, they are confident they can create. They are no longer willing to ignore that small, quiet voice that whispers, “There’s got to be a better way.”

Together, we figure out the “how to” because creating a clear path to my client’s life goals is the objective of this work, but first, we identify all “the things that get in the way.”

That’s how we make changes that last a lifetime, not just for a day.

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