Years ago, I resisted saying “love you” at the end of conversations, thinking it unnecessary. A lesson from an ex-boyfriend changed that. By speaking love openly to kids, friends, and colleagues, I discovered how expressing care authentically can deepen connection, expand the heart, and invite others to do the same.

Freedom has been my most significant life value even before I had the words to define it. My earliest and fondest memories are of roaming in our magical garden in Iran and feeling free to do and be whatever I wanted. That was my 5-year-old mind’s definition of freedom.

You don’t need my coaching. And that may be why you are my ideal client, and I, your ideal coach. There is a paradox inherent to the business model I’ve chosen. I choose to coach people who are emotionally and psychologically well, high performing by all regular human standards, and financially comfortable. They are extraordinary for a plethora of reasons, although they may not see that so clearly themselves.

A dear client asked me how I define success at the end of a day that felt like anything but successful—I had failed to finish a 50-mile race I trained for with great commitment. One of the mind traps that gets in the way of being successful is confusing success with results. Money, grades, and titles are results. Failure, as heartbreaking as it can be, is not the opposite of success. Failure is literally what success is made of.

Worry is nothing less or more than a habit. It’s complex only insofar as our individual tendency towards it, but otherwise it’s pretty simple and, ultimately, a decision. Worry is self indulgence masquerading as concern and love for others. Worry is letting our mind indulge in thoughts and scenarios we have no control over.

Questioning our worth is the unsolicited and unwelcome gift of adulthood. No one ever looked at a newborn and gauged their worth. Children don’t question their worth unless they experience early life trauma.

Why does commitment have to be such a zero-sum game? Or does it? Regarding most behaviors, a little bit is better than nothing. The foundation of successful coaching is helping folks take one small step at a time. Small steps forward can be a powerful strategy for attaining seemingly daunting and impossible goals. But when it comes to commitment, taking small steps doesn’t do the job.

I used to give easy answers about coaching. "Therapy explores your past. Coaching creates your future." But that's incomplete. The real answer lives in the nuances—those subtle, complex truths that can't fit in an Instagram post. After almost 3 decades in fashion, I'd never ask a client to buy without trying it on first. Yet the coaching industry expects exactly that. Don't fall for credentials and certifications. Instead, find a coach willing to have real conversations with you first.

It’s that time of the year; whether consciously or not, we are all taking stock of the year that passed and thinking about the one ahead. You may or may not decide to set goals for the new year, but if you do, consider making them goals that change who you are rather than just what you do.

“Slow down” is a phrase I can legitimately say my long-time clients are sick of hearing. What they don’t realize, is that it’s a message to me, even more than it is to them. It’s true that slowing down is the most valuable skill and practice I offer to my clients, but it’s like the biggest onion ever; we keep peeling the layers and still, there’s more.

Dinner at my aunt Melody, and my uncle Daniel's house is always gracious, engaging, and full of the kind of goodness that comes from sharing a meal (an exquisite one in this case) with a family of people who are empowered to speak their truth. Wisdom flows as abundantly as the delicious wine my uncle always chooses so thoughtfully.

Coaching young adults has a tricky aspect to it. Even though I’m coaching young adults, their parents also need to change their beliefs and behaviors if they want their children to succeed. Recently, a friend with children close in age to mine asked how I exert my authority over them. “I have no authority,” I replied.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about scarcity and how it shows up in our lives. I was prompted when the host on this podcast asked me why many high-level female leaders are reluctant to help other women rise the corporate ladder. My response was that these leaders have a Scarcity Mindset, the belief that success is a zero-sum game.

Recently, someone close to me said in a moment of quiet reflection: "Sometimes you just gotta slow down to count your blessings." And I thought, "He’s got it all wrong!" The truth is we ought to constantly be in the flow and appreciation of our blessings—and only rarely slow down to compassionately acknowledge our hardships.

If you like making New Year’s resolutions, I’d like to suggest the following: Go upstream. So many of us make the kind of resolutions that are bound to fall apart (data shows that this happens by mid January, for most) because we’re too far downstream from the actual root cause of the problem we want to resolve.

Last week's blog left many readers with more questions than answers. Most wanted to know: how do I identify the things that make me feel alive and purposeful? As I wrote, 'What we are actually seeking is not happiness but rather, aliveness.' So I'm sharing the 5 steps to connecting with the things that make you feel alive.

When someone asks me what I do, I tell them I help people create regret-free lives. This wasn't the goal I set out with when I started coaching, but over time, I've learned that regret is a deep-seated fear for many, particularly those entering the second half of their lives. Forget about all the things we did that turned out to be mistakes. Here, I'm talking about regretting the things we didn't do.

People who come to coaching often fall into two categories: those who don't know what their next career move should be and those with a job who want to switch to something else. Coaching the first group involves diving into core life values and uncovering life purposes. The second group ironically requires the opposite—being slowed down to shift perspective around existing work while systematically building their future careers.

“If only I had clarity, I know I have what it takes to accomplish any goal!”
“If only I had the courage to pursue my dreams… but, alas, I’m just not brave!”
“If I just had the confidence to try… write… build… say… I know I would succeed!”

These are words I hear often from my clients, regardless of age or background. They express the universal desire for the three “C’s”—Clarity, Courage, and Confidence—that so many people hope to gain from Professional Coaching.

I know it's meant as a compliment, but it irks me when someone says, "You're lucky to have a high pain tolerance." They usually follow it up with a story about their own natural, even genetic, low pain tolerance. I've spent decades learning and practicing to become more tolerant of discomfort and pain. Professionally, it's what I help my clients do, as well.