One problem, particular to this moment in history, is how easily obsession can be conflated with extremism. As a parent, I want my children to use critical thinking, question authority, and appropriately distrust their news sources. I want them to leverage their curiosity to dig deeper and learn more. But what happens when they exhibit those behaviors and their resulting beliefs seem extreme, or at least extreme to me?

The Coaching field remains a mystery to so many people. My mission is to dispel as many myths and share as many truths about Coaching as possible on this chosen career journey. One crucial aspect of the coaching relationship I haven't shared yet is the most important predictor of client success: how great Coaches choose their clients. What differentiates "Elite Coaches" from "Good Enough Coaches" is their impact.

In a previous article, When Giving Makes You Exhausted… I confessed to being a thief. A thief of ideas. I wrote that everything I share, I've heard, read, and learned from someone else. And whether you realize it or not, this also applies to you. It took me a long time to realize that every bit of knowledge, every belief, and every insight human beings gain is ALWAYS the downstream effect of what we consume.

In a recent conversation with one of my clients, Ruth, we delved deep into the subject of fear—its origins, its influence, and how we can navigate it in our daily lives. As you read along, keep in mind that Ruth is one of the most courageous women I know. But fear lives in every single one of us, and it’s worth learning about. I hope this brief dialogue between Ruth and me sheds light on why fear so often holds us back and what we can do about it.

I engage in more coaching conversations each week than the number of clients I have. Many who say they’re ready to be coached never do the work. They’re not lazy—they’re committed, capable people who hesitate despite knowing the focus, time, and resources required to make real change.

Coaching is so much more about sharing wisdom than merely providing information. Information makes us smarter, while wisdom brings contentment, tranquility, and serenity. Who doesn’t need more of those things in their lives? Information is easy to find. Wisdom is hard to earn.

In my personal and professional lives, I regularly realize that every one of us is on an endless search for happiness. We believe achieving the next goal allows us to finally experience the joy, relief, and peace of mind we’ve longed for. We imagine happiness as a destination where we can finally “settle down” and enjoy life.

Why do we tend to imagine the worst possible outcomes at first?Why is it so much easier to anticipate what can go wrong rather than what can go right? Why is the news filled with a litany of horrors and seldom good news? Why do so many of us lean towards warning others of impending doom rather than highlighting how things can improve? The answer is simple.

Context is a word abused by people who lack the courage to advocate for moral clarity. I am referring directly to the leaders of institutions and communities (hello, Harvard, Penn, and Columbia) who justify their utter lack of courage and refusal to take difficult but necessary actions by using the excuse of context dependency.

Context is a word abused by people who lack the courage to advocate for moral clarity. That’s a shame because the appropriate understanding of context can profoundly and positively impact our lives. We’ve all heard of living a purpose-driven life. Today, I invite you to consider creating a context-driven life.

Last week's blog, “When Giving Makes You Exhausted…,” elicited more questions than answers from my readers. Every day, I receive more emails asking me to dig deeper into the distinctions I identified. The questions run the gamut from “How do I know if I’m a Matcher or a Giver?” to “How can I be sure that I’m a Fierce and not a Selfless Giver?”.

I’m a thief—an excellent one—but still, a thief! I have no new ideas. I've gained everything I know, teach, coach, and write about by being fully present to others’ wisdom. I used to think I needed to develop novel ideas, talks, and teachings, but I’ve changed my mind in the last decade.

Today, I want to share a distinction that might not sit well with many of you. Some of you will resent me for it. And some of you may change your life because of it. Even if only one person is moved to make that change because of a deeper understanding of this distinction, my effort would be well worth it.

I took up jogging in my early teens—mainly reacting to the “thinness craze” that was the air we breathed in the 70s and 80s. I jogged and took exercise classes at Jane Fonda (does anyone remember those???) to become or stay thin (depending on what the scale showed). As an adult, I kept up the exercising, but it never seemed effortless or fun. Instead, it was always an endless loop of motivating myself through one tactic or another.

The impact of perfectionism is like gravity—inescapable if ignored. Even high achievers feel its weight, frozen by fear of imperfection. In coaching, I guide clients to shift from perfection to excellence, reclaiming their energy, amplifying their impact, and achieving success on their own terms.

One of the main goals of powerful coaching is teaching, advising, and supporting our clients to become responsive rather than reactive. Why is this important? Well, because most of the problems we face in the day, the problems you and I come to coaching to solve, are self-created. We believe that the issue with our spouse, boss, or child is a circumstance we must tolerate or fix—a circumstance outside ourselves—a situation that has “happened” to us.

Would you continue reading this piece if I told you I wouldn’t tell you how to do something better, faster, and more efficiently? And with that knowledge in mind, would you hire me as your Coach?

Are you putting a Band-Aid over a bullet hole? Last week's blog about Consistency vs. Intensity had clients and readers contacting me with many "how to" questions. There are two ways to answer "how to" questions: Band-Aid How-To and Surgery How-To. Band-Aid How-to's are ubiquitous, especially on social media. A Band-Aid response addresses the issue superficially and will often yield results in the short run.

I have a long-time client who endlessly inspires me. He is in his seventies, and although I’m his Coach, very often, he’s my teacher. In the time I’ve been working with him, I’ve seen him transform his marriage from good to extraordinary........

At a dinner last night with a group of women sharing similar political views, I asked one who was particularly vocal, “When did you become obsessed with your specific political beliefs?”

Silence fell over the small dinner table of six, the air thick with unspoken tension.....