I'm obsessed with Ease. Let me be clear. Here, I'm not talking about Easy. Easy is about doing less, taking shortcuts, and staying inside our comfort zone. Easy says, "I don't want to do hard things." Easy seeks pleasure at the cost of joy and borrows from your Future Self. Easy is what so many of us are in pursuit of. But the truth is what we are genuinely seeking is ease.

Today is my birthday, although most everyone thinks it was yesterday. I did this intentionally, so I could be present for everyone's well wishes yesterday and spend this day in reflection and gratitude. I also want my actual birthday to be a day of giving something back to my community of clients, supporters, friends and family.

I’ve been thinking about commitment. Why does commitment have to be such a zero-sum game? Or does it? Regarding most behaviors, a little bit is better than nothing. The foundation of successful coaching is helping folks take one small step at a time. Small steps forward can be a powerful strategy for attaining seemingly daunting and impossible goals.

Coaching is all about helping my clients get to “simple.” Let me explain. Albert Einstein explained the four ascending levels of cognitive prowess: Smart, Intelligent, Brilliant, and Genius. But do you know what Einstein, arguably the most intelligent human ever to grace this planet, considered an even higher level of intelligence than ‘Genius’?

The more years I collect, the less time and attention I give to arguing, convincing, and explaining. I love Benjamin Disraeli’s advice to “never explain, never complain.” People who have known me for decades have noticed this shift. But they think it’s because I’ve learned to manage my emotions.

“My child needs to grow up!” Nope. Your child needs to wake up. This is my response to parents who confuse “growing up” with “waking up”. I mean waking up to life’s truths their well-meaning parents tend to (over)protect them from.

One problem, particular to this moment in history, is how easily obsession can be conflated with extremism. As a parent, I want my children to use critical thinking, question authority, and appropriately distrust their news sources. I want them to leverage their curiosity to dig deeper and learn more. But what happens when they exhibit those behaviors and their resulting beliefs seem extreme, or at least extreme to me?

The Coaching field remains a mystery to so many people. My mission is to dispel as many myths and share as many truths about Coaching as possible on this chosen career journey. One crucial aspect of the coaching relationship I haven't shared yet is the most important predictor of client success: how great Coaches choose their clients. What differentiates "Elite Coaches" from "Good Enough Coaches" is their impact.

In a previous article, When Giving Makes You Exhausted… I confessed to being a thief. A thief of ideas. I wrote that everything I share, I've heard, read, and learned from someone else. And whether you realize it or not, this also applies to you. It took me a long time to realize that every bit of knowledge, every belief, and every insight human beings gain is ALWAYS the downstream effect of what we consume.

In a recent conversation with one of my clients, Ruth, we delved deep into the subject of fear—its origins, its influence, and how we can navigate it in our daily lives. As you read along, keep in mind that Ruth is one of the most courageous women I know. But fear lives in every single one of us, and it’s worth learning about. I hope this brief dialogue between Ruth and me sheds light on why fear so often holds us back and what we can do about it.

I engage in more coaching conversations each week than the number of clients I have. Many who say they’re ready to be coached never do the work. They’re not lazy—they’re committed, capable people who hesitate despite knowing the focus, time, and resources required to make real change.

Coaching is so much more about sharing wisdom than merely providing information. Information makes us smarter, while wisdom brings contentment, tranquility, and serenity. Who doesn’t need more of those things in their lives? Information is easy to find. Wisdom is hard to earn.

In my personal and professional lives, I regularly realize that every one of us is on an endless search for happiness. We believe achieving the next goal allows us to finally experience the joy, relief, and peace of mind we’ve longed for. We imagine happiness as a destination where we can finally “settle down” and enjoy life.

Why do we tend to imagine the worst possible outcomes at first?Why is it so much easier to anticipate what can go wrong rather than what can go right? Why is the news filled with a litany of horrors and seldom good news? Why do so many of us lean towards warning others of impending doom rather than highlighting how things can improve? The answer is simple.

We are not adults until we act like one. And that has nothing to do with your chronological age, how much money you make, the number of kids, or titles you have. "Turning pro" is another definition for "turning into an adult." If you're a Millennial or parent of one ready to turn pro, there's abundant good news: turning pro is a practice, not a personality change.

Context is a word abused by people who lack the courage to advocate for moral clarity. I am referring directly to the leaders of institutions and communities (hello, Harvard, Penn, and Columbia) who justify their utter lack of courage and refusal to take difficult but necessary actions by using the excuse of context dependency.

Context is a word abused by people who lack the courage to advocate for moral clarity. That’s a shame because the appropriate understanding of context can profoundly and positively impact our lives. We’ve all heard of living a purpose-driven life. Today, I invite you to consider creating a context-driven life.

Last week's blog, “When Giving Makes You Exhausted…,” elicited more questions than answers from my readers. Every day, I receive more emails asking me to dig deeper into the distinctions I identified. The questions run the gamut from “How do I know if I’m a Matcher or a Giver?” to “How can I be sure that I’m a Fierce and not a Selfless Giver?”.

I’m a thief—an excellent one—but still, a thief! I have no new ideas. I've gained everything I know, teach, coach, and write about by being fully present to others’ wisdom. I used to think I needed to develop novel ideas, talks, and teachings, but I’ve changed my mind in the last decade.

Today, I want to share a distinction that might not sit well with many of you. Some of you will resent me for it. And some of you may change your life because of it. Even if only one person is moved to make that change because of a deeper understanding of this distinction, my effort would be well worth it.