Increasingly, more people are investing their resources in service of self-growth and potential. Most of us did not learn how to cultivate our emotional well being, skillfully manage our thoughts, and gain the tools and skills essential for creating a life that is more often peaceful and purposeful rather than chaotic and volatile. A great place to start is with an assessment of our life values.

The work of Professional Coaching is all about facilitating long-term sustainable shifts—which is entirely different than tricks, hacks and shortcuts. So many of us wrongly assume habits cultivated for decades can be undone in weeks or even in one moment. We consume endless books, articles and podcasts searching for the one guru who can give us the answer that will change our life around. We confuse information with transformation.

"Courage" is a word I think about often because it's a word I hear several times a day in my coaching conversations. I certainly thought courage meant bravery and held back from taking even the smallest step toward change. But do outward bravery and fearlessness equal courage? My clients are, without exception, the most courageous people I know. Every single day, they show up and do something wildly courageous—something against every historical tendency.

A great Coach isn't smarter, more knowledgeable, or necessarily even more experienced than her greatest client. She's in charge of the coaching process, not in control of the outcome. This is the distinction that is life—changing if understood and practiced regularly—the difference between being in control and being in charge. So many of us live with constant stress and anxiety because we are trying to control every element of our days.

One of the most cherished 90 minutes of my week is when I get together with my group of soulful, bright, and growth—minded clients who are all under 40. They are still climbing their First Mountain, and I know for certain that there is a way for them to experience life with more ease, serenity, and skill than most of us do in our first half of life. Most humans want the feeling of belonging to a pack, while at the same time expressing their own uniqueness. We confuse being unique with having to reinvent the wheel.

Tomorrow, hundreds will begin a 100-mile journey on foot, testing mind, body, and soul. Though I haven’t completed this race, my ultrarunning family has shown me courage, unconditional support, and the privilege of living fully—feeling alive, connected, and loved through shared adventure and values.

One of my favorite coaches says, "We are in the PR business—permission and reminders!" But there's another side to this coin. Micro-shaming is a statement or response from a seemingly trusted source that leaves the receiver with a feeling of confusion and shame. It disguises itself in so many different ways—like curiosity, care, helpfulness, and sarcasm—that the only defense we have against it is absolute diligence and total commitment.

Perfect is a moving target, that's if it's even a thing. We pepper our everyday conversations with the word "perfect". Most of us were raised to be perfectionists. But according to Brene Brown, perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis. One of the biggest problems is many of us believe perfectionism is the primary reason we've achieved success. In truth, real success is built on a foundation of time, attention, and deliberate practice.

How often have you heard, "Life is short"? Here's the thing. If we don't meet an untimely death, if we are fortunate enough to be given a life past our 80's, then life is actually pretty long. Playing the long game is smart, but it is also the only game we should be playing. Life is a game meant to be a long one. And like any other game, a good life has rules that support our ability to play well.

One of the main reasons people seek a Professional Life Coach is to become better at time management. It seems like an unconquerable Hydra. But tools are the low hanging fruit of this work. My clients are sick of hearing me talk about turning pro with their calendar because they've already come to understand the fundamental truth: time management is emotional management. We all have the same number of hours in a day.

When did the word "change" become a negative thing? So many of us fight, resist, and are averse to change in ourselves and others. The most effective tool to achieve robust relationships is skillful communication. But fear of communicating is more difficult to get past than learning the skill itself. Top of the list: fear of being told we've changed. It seems illogical to expect everything about our personalities and relationships to stay the same over time.

One of the main goals that bring people to life coaching is the desire to “find balance” in their lives. Spoiler alert! As far as I have come to believe and understand, there is no such thing as living a balanced life, unless you are a robot or living a very boring life.

The chance to live a second life is nothing less than a privilege. I don't mean a second chapter, I mean, the opportunity to live a life that feels brand new. At 56, I have already started climbing what David Brooks calls our "Second Mountain." It's an entirely different effort with views that can be spectacular, only if we don't compare it to the First Mountain.

I'm often asked how I became an ultrarunner, and the short answer is, "One step at a time." The deeper answer has something to do with loss and humility. I was a runner for years, applying my "hard-charging and no prisoners" mindset to everything. Until my body crashed. Loss and humility don't always go hand-in-hand, but they did for me. When we make the shift from being an accidental anything to a deliberate something, our growth is often exponential.

A dear client asked me how I define success at the end of a day that felt like anything but successful—I had failed to finish a 50-mile race I trained for with great commitment. One of the mind traps that gets in the way of being successful is confusing success with results. Money, grades, and titles are results. Failure, as heartbreaking as it can be, is not the opposite of success. Failure is literally what success is made of.

Life Coaching continues to be mystifying to most. Folks don't understand the difference between Coaching and therapy, and because it's a fast-growing field with a low barrier to entry, there's an understandable measure of skepticism. One of my larger life goals is to bring legitimacy to the field of Life Coaching and contribute to the public understanding of this profession as being valid, valuable, and just as necessary as any other profession.

"What's your niche?" is a question I'm asked often. My short and often unsatisfying response is, "My niche is humans." Most coaching schools teach you to build your business by deciding on a niche and marketing it aggressively. But if this system works, why is the average global Professional Life Coach salary only $47,000? I propose we base our choice of which Life Coach to work with less on their marketing niche and more on their behavioral one.

I absolutely love my work and I'm more energized after 8-9 hours of coaching sessions. But burnout is more often the result of an emotional challenge rather than a physical one. Two main culprits present most often: the belief that our work is not meaningful, or that we are not appreciated. Most relationships end because of resentment rather than all the other reasons we convince ourselves of. And resentment starts with expectations.

Intimacy isn’t a trait we’re born with—it’s a practice we cultivate. Through radical acceptance, creating safety, mindful vulnerability, and nurturing connection, we can build authentic, lasting closeness in relationships, whether personal or professional.

Last week's "Shit I Don't Have Time For" list touched more hearts than I expected. But there's a reason this list is so powerful: it's not new information, it's the deepest knowing in your soul that's been patiently waiting for authentic self-acceptance. Once you've gathered the courage to declare it, you won't forget it. Part two of this exercise—creating your list of "Things Worth Doing"—is where the real magic happens.